I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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