He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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