I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize