If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize