i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize