So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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