he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
