were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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