She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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