He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize