Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize