My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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