I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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