I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
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ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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