she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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