In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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