i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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