i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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