There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
