His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
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Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
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I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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