how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize