Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
please don't ironically join a cult
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