I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize