he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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