so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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