pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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