lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize