Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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