You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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