this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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