The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize