he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize