So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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