yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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