i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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