I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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