I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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