I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize