Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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