Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize