I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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