I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize