i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize