I cockslap morals
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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