It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize