did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize