I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
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I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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