I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize