eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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