And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize