hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why did my mother make you get naked?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
